When the smoke clears and the confetti is swept away from the joyous announcement of your engagement, the first big decision you have to make is where to have your wedding reception. It was something that for me and my fiance we took two, almost three, years to decide. We were torn if we wanted to have it in our hometown/state or if we wanted to have a destination wedding. At first we were leaning toward destination for so many reason:
– Less Stress, More intimate, more fun, great vacation for everyone, more relaxed, wonderful memories with those closest to you, not having to invite the entire world to your wedding
Turns out we couldn’t do a destination wedding. Many of our family members wouldn’t or couldn’t fly on airplanes. Some were too old, had ailments or illnesses that would prevent it. Some of the people who would like to go might not be able to afford it. Others would have opinions about having it away versus traditional church and wedding hall. So we waited, and waited.
Finally we decided to look for a venue and just have our wedding in New Jersey where we, and most of our family and friends live. The concern for us was that we wanted our venue to still feel intimate. We wanted to avoid at all costs having our wedding day feel like a generic “wedding in a box” as I call it.
What we started to do first was look at places friends of ours had weddings at. We tried to remember which we really liked and which we couldn’t remember being anything special. We also started to ask our families, who are very honest about food especially, which venues they liked the most. Finally we narrowed down our list to 2-3 places.
After that I took to the internet and started to dig deep into reviews. Our biggest concern was having amazing food. Having both sides of our families being mostly Italian the food for us was always going to be the main focus. We didn’t want anyone coming to our wedding and stopping at McDonald’s on the ride home. The two places we narrowed down to, that we thought were a bit more comfortable and intimate were Il Tulipano and Liberty House. We liked that one had the food thing covered but the other really was unique and wouldn’t feel like we were in a four wall room.
After review searching we came to the conclusion that while Liberty House in Jersey City, NJ was beautiful, no one we talked to said anything spectacular about the food. If anything, the thing that helped the place was the view and the venue itself, but the food was not memorable. No one commented on the food, they just kept saying how pretty the place was, that the view on NYC was breathtaking. Unfortunately our families wouldn’t care and would say that you can’t eat pretty views.
We had previously both been to Il Tulipano so we made an appointment to go visit it. To be honest, for so long we put off viewing venues but I am so glad we did because as soon as we arrived for our meeting we knew this was the place for us. We felt comfortable there, we didn’t feel overwhelmed by a grand staircase or gaudy white columns. Il Tulipano for us felt like home, and that was our goal.
We also wanted to have a ceremony on site, that was something we took into consideration when looking into venues. If having a ceremony on site is important to you make sure you ask if that is an option. We plan to have ours outdoors, then go right into our cocktail hour. While we are both Catholic, and trust me many people expected us to want to have ours in a church, I personally know that many people don’t go to the church and then to the reception. They go right to the party and skip the church, but I personally want people to SEE us get married so we said lets do it at the reception venue. I think it is going to look beautiful and be so much more convenient for our guests.
I also was looking for a place that had a big cocktail hour menu with the ability for add ons. Il Tulipano does all the cooking fresh on site, and the food is phenomenal. Not one person I have talked to has had anything bad to say about their food. Every one we talked to raved about it, so for us it was a done deal.
Another thing we wanted was a place that only did one wedding at a time. That means that on our wedding day the entire venue is ours for us and our guests. They can roam the grounds, have full access to the venue and we won’t be rushed out or told to change anything because of other weddings going on. That was important to us as well.
It is also important to make sure there are hotels nearby that your guests can stay at if they choose to stay the night. For us, we have many family members who will drive over 2 hours to come, and the last thing we want is people to enjoy our open bar then drive home under the influence. I’d rather them get a hotel room and have a great night at our wedding. Thankfully for us there are 3 nearby and they also offer free shuttle service to and from our venue, even better!
I also made sure that our venue did not lock you into using only vendors they choose. Some venues in NJ they require you use their florist, dj, photographer etc. This means they are usually working together to make sure each gets paid. I personally don’t like that and that is something that Westmount Country Club does and why we didn’t go with them either. Il Tulipano said we can use anyone we select which is great.
Make sure that your venue offers a tasting day where you can see the place done up how it might look for a wedding. This way you can see how the room really looks and feels and then you can taste all of the menu options to choose your favorites. You can then also see what extras you want added to tables during your cocktail hour. Another great bonus is that my venue makes our wedding cake as part of the costs. We will go and taste the flavors and then bring them photos of some options of the design.
As you can see there is A LOT to think about when choosing your venue. Go in with an open mind and also make sure to pick a place that is on your budget. You have to factor in tax, tip and gratuity which is about 27% more per person! So a plate that is $150 per person comes out to about $212 with any add ons and those fees! Especially if you go with a summer wedding and one on a Saturday night. We wanted to have Saturday night and June since the weather is perfect for outdoor ceremony and then our guests have all day to get ready and then the next day to recover 🙂
So for now the first step for us is done : we have chosen and set our date and picked our wedding venue. We put down a 20% deposit and that is the first thing done on our check list. WOO HOO!
Some great vendors as you begin to plan your wedding details:
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